I thought I could tell the stories of people around me on this blog. I mean, I can gradually compile the stories around me and share them with you. In the end, it provides content for the blog, and I also have some fun.
Of course, to avoid getting people into trouble and to protect them a bit, I'll refer to them by their characteristics rather than their names. The Chaotic Civil Servant is a guy from our Antalya. In fact, he's the person I spend the most time with in Antalya. He and the SATANIST YÖRUK are enemies because while our Chaotic Civil Servant is quite a laid-back guy, the SATANIST YÖRUK is someone who lacks the ability to express himself and is extremely serious. Their energies don't match each other.
My first meeting with the Chaotic Civil Servant was on the school bus in high school. I was wearing a Fenerbahçe jersey, and to make conversation, he asked, "Which team do you support?" The answer was "Antalyaspor." In Antalya, there's no team other than Antalyaspor - we agree on this. If you come across an Antalyan who says "I consider team X superior to Antalyaspor," bring them to the Eski Mezbaha (A decent district which means Old Slaughterhouse), and when I'm available, I'll beat them to a pulp. You can spend some time at Yalım Park in the meantime. So I updated the question: "Which Istanbul team do you support?" "I don't support any." "How? None at all?" "Never supported any." Turns out he was a Galatasaray fan. We later saw him in a Galatasaray jersey. For a Fenerbahçe fan, Galatasaray is an honorable rival, so I'm not cold toward Galatasaray fans. However, my opinion about Trabzonspor fans is very different.
As you can understand, the Chaotic Civil Servant is a man who takes the shape of the container he's in, aggressive toward those weaker than him, sucking up to those stronger, conformist and Machiavellian, yet somehow we believe that deep down he's good. Well, he doesn't think he's a good person either. But for a man raised in Yenikapı, such things are normal. Because Yenikapı is such a place. The law of the jungle prevails there, everyone gets along with everyone else, but everyone also does all kinds of things to each other. By the way, when I say Yenikapı, I'm not referring to that weird transfer station, I'm talking about that amazing gypsy neighborhood in Antalya that includes Işıklar Street. Yes, we lived there for about a year. It has a special place in our family's heart.
The Chaotic Civil Servant, no matter how far his mood and character are from civil service, was appointed to the Ministry of National Assimilation through the disabled quota due to his blind right eye, and surprisingly, he also finished university while working. Although he thinks being an alcoholic is cool and glorifies being aimless, the man went to school morning and evening and finished his four-year education. But of course, like everything in his life, with tricks and shortcuts. He works brilliantly when his back is against the wall. Since he would be expelled from school if he couldn't finish in the seventh year, during Corona time, he made a deal with a professor and finished his courses in two semesters. The professor was an acquaintance, and he didn't pay the guy a penny. If we did such a thing... Hehe. You'd see my photo in Sözcü newspaper with the caption "Traitor trying to graduate by cheating." Some people are both able to think practically and lucky, I can think practically but I'm not lucky. That's why I have to do all my work properly and on track.
The guys the Chaotic Civil Servant introduced me to are all tea dealers. (They stand on the street and distribute tea packets to passersby.) Since tea appears everywhere in the neighborhood, and his family lives in Zeytinköy, which is famous for its tea, naturally his childhood friends have all turned to tea dealing. He also smoked tea a few times, but when his mother found tea in his pencil case, he ended his tea career there.
How can such a man become a civil servant? The essence is that, surprisingly, the Chaotic Civil Servant is a man who works very hard without cheating. I mean, his superiors at work are satisfied with him. He left his previous job because he was doing the work of three people. The problem wasn't doing three people's work, but not getting respect. Everyone was stabbing him in the back, what could he do? So he did all the dirty tricks he knew and left. So he's the opposite of what we call dirty. I mean, even though he's not a Yenikapı gypsy himself, he specialized in gypsy culture and literature and picked up all the gypsy ways. Of course, I'm not calling our Roma citizens gypsies, don't misunderstand. But the culture this man has absorbed is gypsy culture, that's what it's called.
For example, our Chaotic Civil Servant's biggest trauma is that his fries were finished before he could eat them when he went to Obesity Kink with his neighborhood friends. That's why, on our first trip to Obesity Kink together, he attacked those fries so fiercely that... I said this guy is really obese. By the way, the Chaotic Civil Servant has two physical characteristics: one is an eye that moves like a chameleon (the other one was fake, it turns out - I had been looking at him wondering if he was an alien until I figured it out), and the second is that he's overweight. Of course, I won't make fun of weight issues here, but at that moment I looked and thought "Look how the obese guy stuffed his mouth." He still eats fast. Turns out the guy had trauma. Of course, thanks to me, this uncivilized man who walks around bare-legged on Işıklar Street saw some civilization and can now talk and hang out among us.
Anyway. The main event I'm going to tell is a bit different. Our Chaotic Civil Servant's circle, the Yenikapı circle of course, is a bit dirty. Since he grew up in that environment, naturally there are people he inevitably befriends. Of course, what can you say? You can't tell someone not to be friends, he's not my relative or child. You never tell someone not to be friends. Can you be friends with a tea dealer? It's not something I'd approve of.
The guy calls a friend to do something together. Probably alcohol. Despite his civil servant salary, he's used to drinking like his father. Everyone in their family drinks like a sponge. His father turned into an Ogre from drinking, and he's following the same path. But no... That night wouldn't pass with just alcohol.
Just as they were about to disperse, apparently coming from the Lara side, they offered to give our Chaotic Civil Servant a ride home. Would our gypsy soul refuse this? Never. They sat him in the middle of the back seat, this is an important detail. Everyone including the driver is dead drunk. But there's something else. The whole car smells like tea. Since he knows what tea is, he immediately understood. He asked how much there was, about thirty grams. A gram of tea sells for around two hundred lira. They head to Zeytinköy and buy another five grams. Our guy's only concern is being able to get to the barbershop in Yenikapı. (Yes, the Chaotic Civil Servant lives in a barbershop. Summer and winter.) Then, to use a restroom, they enter a gas station in Zeytinköy. Meanwhile, since tea trade constantly circulates in Zeytinköy, our young and angry police officers we call "Yunus" constantly patrol. (Yunus. What a cute name, isn't it? But God protect us from their evil. Quite a few urban legends circulate about them.)
So when these Yunus officers see people getting out of the car, they realize something's fishy. Who's going where and how? Who's driving the car? When the driver also comes out of the restroom, the Yunus officers see that the driver is also drunk. Being afraid of the Yunus officers, they get in the car and leave immediately. Our Chaotic Civil Servant, sitting right in the middle, can't go anywhere and finds himself in the middle of a police chase that tastes like Need For Speed: Zeytinköy.
Let me note that our Chaotic Civil Servant is an extremely cowardly man. He sees a dog and gets scared, sees a dark street and gets scared, sees a slightly creepy guy and gets scared. I once threw the guy at a barking dog, what more can you want? Actually, the reason he's scared is both having seen all kinds of filth and being high on tea. People who are high on tea generally have a panic atmosphere.
This poor guy is going crazy thinking about how he's ruined his civil service career. Everyone in the car has at least five years of probation. If he's lucky, that is. But of course, with five years of probation, his civil service career is burned. Everyone in the car is acting strange, by the way. On top of that, the driver is drunk and driving at 150-160 kilometers per hour in the city. Did someone say action?
Thankfully, the Yunus officers, who normally never forgive, thinking they've got the license plate anyway, abandon the chase around Konyaaltı, and when these guys increase the distance between them, they escape somewhere ahead. Four people get out of the car, all scattering in different directions. The car also probably disappears into the distance to be scrapped.
The lesson you should take from this story is: choose your friends properly. If you hang out with deviant people like the Chaotic Civil Servant, you'll have to walk 10 kilometers drunk to get home. Yes, that's the whole problem. You'll also have to give advice on where your friends should hide their tea.
NOTE: IT WAS NOT THE TEA YOU EXPECTED